I have been trying to come up with a blog topic for a long time. The reality is I’m not comfortable sharing. I spend my days with complicated thoughts that no one should have and they can range from hilarious to scary. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, more of my thoughts are funny or light then scary for sure. Sometimes though I have to take a step back and really think about the process that my mind goes through.
Until recently I had thought that I was broken. It’s okay to think this way I suppose, but not great for the self esteem or general health of a man in his mid…upper thirties. I have had a difficult road, but I’m starting to find peace. I found help in a way that was more accidental then imagined.
The Tennessee Mess
I have never really known what I want, that is part of the brokenness. After I quit my 21 year career as a chef I was rudderless. Allie and I had a direction, to homestead so we can live on our own terms. We were not prepared for this in any way, we had a plan…sort of, we had some money….sort of, we knew what we were doing….sort of. What the fuck are we doing?! This is the thing that hindsight has given me, we still don’t know what we are doing but that’s okay. Nike was right, just do it!
Homesteads & Goat Shit
We needed an income, as I said I was a chef for a long time, so when we moved from urban Michigan to rural Tennessee (an hour away from a Walmart rural) I had to look for a job. Good luck for a classically trained chef in the home of fried food ‘delis’ and chicken tender hell. So I started mucking stalls at a goat dairy. I’ve learned a lot of interesting shit (no pun intended) while being a goat herds’ personal man servant. The caveat to this is, a goat butler is not a job that is conducive to running a homestead. So we needed some type of passive income.
I was sure that internet marketing was the solution, I started listening to podcasts from people like Pat Flynn (https://smartpassiveincome.com). This piqued my interest and I really paid attention and tried to learn. Something was still amiss, it didn’t feel right. I had the information to start creating but I still had a problem. I wasn’t mentally healthy (still not to tell the truth but hell it’s a fun ride!) and I have a lot of limiting beliefs. If you don’t know what a limiting belief is, or can’t figure it out from the context here. I will give you a short description, your ego is fucking with you. It is sure you can’t do something that your rational brain says you can do. You have created a mental ‘dam’ and it can be a lot of work to disassemble it.
While listening to Pat’s smart passive income podcast (who is great by the way) I stumbled upon a man named Dane Maxwell (https://thefoundation.com). Dane seems like a cult leader who channeled his energy into entrepreneurship. His perspective on limiting beliefs finally jerked me into reality. I started to recognize that all the things that “I can’t do” for what they are, limiting beliefs. This didn’t fix anything for me, but it did help me make some changes.
Having vocabulary regarding your personal development is important and these two words were still a struggle. I started looking for ways to overcome these limiting beliefs. Googling brought up with lots of results I would have categorized as malarkey (if i were born in the nineteen-oughts). I however, being the goat shit magnate of West Tennessee have a lot of time on my hands to listen to podcasts. So I tried out Antonia Dodge & Joel Mark Witt’s podcast Personality Hacker (https://personalityhacker.com). It was like someone was reading my mind. I suppose I had an awakening, I realized that I’m not broken.
I listened to them ravenously, eating up their content as fast as I could comprehend it. I won’t bore you with the details but it is helping me. Currently the biggest take away was learning my personality type, even if you don’t believe in it you should give it a chance. Why was knowing my personality type so important? I am an intuitive, I won’t get real wordy with the definition but essentially I have an abstract thought process. I don’t require verifiable data, I speculate…a lot. It gets me into to trouble, as it turns out a lot of people are not intuitive as their first nature. The world isn’t built for people like Allie and I. We don’t just march to the beat of different drum, we have to invent a new drum first.
Allie (who is also intuitive and quite possibly a militia leader with some different nurturing in her early life) and I have decided on a topic which is the intuitive mind. It involves speculation, observation and helpful information for other intuitives or you regular folk who want to see how the “other side” thinks. We will share our homestead projects and the perspective that we both share on them. Our hope is not just to entertain but to enlighten people who see that ‘weirdos’ are more then broken.